By Arvind Maurya, Psychologist
‘It’s in My Hands’ vs. ‘It’s Just My Luck’: The Psychology Behind These Thoughts
Have you ever noticed how differently people react to the same situation? One person may say, “I can do something about this,” while another may say, “What can I do? It’s just my luck.”
These two ways of thinking are connected to a psychological concept called locus of control. It refers to how we understand the control we have over the events and outcomes in our lives.
People with a more internal locus of control generally believe that their choices, efforts, and actions can influence what happens to them. People with a more external locus of control may feel that their lives are strongly influenced by luck, fate, circumstances, or other people.
Let’s understand this through everyday situations.
Imagine two students receive lower marks than they expected in an examination.
The first student thinks, “I didn’t prepare well enough. I need to change my study routine and work harder for the next exam.”
The second student thinks, “I always have bad luck. No matter what I do, things never go my way.”
Both students received the same result, but their thinking is different. The first student focuses on something they can change, while the second feels that the outcome is mainly outside their control.
Another simple example is missing the bus.
One person may think, “I should have left home earlier. Next time, I’ll leave ten minutes sooner.”
Another person may think, “The bus always comes early when I am late. I have terrible luck.”
The first person is looking for something they can change. The second person is focusing mainly on circumstances.
However, having an internal locus of control does not mean believing that everything in life is under our control.
We cannot control other people’s opinions, decisions, behavior, traffic, weather, or every unexpected event. Sometimes, things happen despite our best efforts.
For example, imagine you apply for a job but are not selected. You cannot control the employer’s final decision. But you can control how you prepare for the next interview, whether you improve your skills, and whether you continue looking for opportunities.
A healthier thought might be, “I couldn’t control their decision, but I can control what I do next.”
Locus of control can also affect relationships. A person might think, “My partner is always upset, so there is nothing I can do.” Another person may think, “I cannot control my partner’s feelings, but I can communicate clearly and decide how I respond.”
There is also a danger in taking too much responsibility. If someone experiences difficulties in a relationship and thinks, “Everything is my fault,” that is not necessarily healthy. We should not blame ourselves for things that are beyond our control.
The goal is not to believe that everything is our responsibility. The goal is to understand what is within our control and what is not.
The next time something goes wrong, try asking yourself three questions:
What is outside my control?
What is within my control?
What is one small thing I can do now?
Sometimes, we cannot change the situation, but we can change our response to it.
Locus of control is not about controlling every part of life. It is about recognizing where our choices and actions matter.
Life will always contain things we cannot control. But instead of asking, “Why does this always happen to me?” we can sometimes ask, “What can I do from here?”
That small change in thinking can help us move from helplessness toward action, responsibility, and hope.
