Is Aggression and Trauma Passed On Through Generations?
~ Jia Chopra, Intern
We often associate things passed down in families as physical traits, such as eyes or a smile. However families also pass down something far more subtle, such as, our ways of expressing emotions, interacting in relationships and managing stress. Occasionally, emotional wounds get passed down too.
A child who is brought up in a home where yelling, name-calling, and physical violence are regular occurrences will eventually come to view these interactions as completely normal. They may vow that they will never be the same way, but years later find themselves lashing out with the same rage they swore never to imitate. This is known as aggressive intergenerational transmission, where aggressive behavior is unconsciously inherited and passed down from parent to child.
The term ‘aggressive’ does not necessarily refer to anything that is physically violent. Aggression can also take the shape of constant criticism, manipulation, domineering behavior, or scathing remarks. Aggressive modeling in childhood will contribute to aggressive behavior in adolescence and into adulthood. When the child is not shown positive and peaceful ways to cope with things, aggressive behavior may seem like their only option.
This idea leads directly into the concept of transgenerational trauma. The source of trauma does not have to be a one-time occurrence but rather the accumulation of years of abuse, neglect, racism, discrimination, poverty, or living in a community that generates fear and unease. When trauma remains unprocessed, it can affect how an individual communicates, who they form relationships with, and how they decide to parent. The pain is passed down even if the actual perpetrator is not even discussed.
Imagine parents that grew up in a home that was not safe to emote in. As adults, they will become either aggressively dominating or excessively controlling. If they do this then their child is either going to copy their parents’ behavior or live in fear of any emotions, both options stemming from the same root issue.
The good news is that this is not where the issue has to end. Knowing that this problem exists is the first step in fixing it. Understanding other ways to communicate and manage emotions, as well as knowing how to find support will effectively prevent the cycle from moving on. You don’t have to hate or blame your parents-sometimes they just do the best they can, with the understanding that they have. This trauma can be passed down, but so can healing and recovery.
Every time you use empathetic communication, take a moment to cool down before responding to a frustrating situation, or reach out for help, you will help bring positive things down to the next generation. You can control the choices you make, even if you can’t choose your parents. Some people simply draw the line and decide to stop the cycle, all on their own.
