When a child keeps insisting on something cries or tries hard to get their way, we often quickly call them “stubborn.” but is every such behaviour really just stubbornness?
Children do not always know how to put their feelings into words. They may be feeling angry, scared, lonely, or simply wanting some extra time and attention from their parents. Sometimes these feelings come out as stubbornness, crying, or anger.
For example, when a child repeatedly asks you to sit with them, they may not simply be trying to get their way. Perhaps they are looking for your presence and connection. Similarly, when a child becomes extremely upset over something small there may be another feeling behind that reaction.
This does not mean that every demand should be accepted. Children need boundaries, guidance and an understanding of what is right and wrong. But while setting boundaries it is equally important to understand what the child is feeling.
The next time your child insists on something, try pausing before scolding them and ask yourself: “What is my child trying to tell me through this behaviour?”
Sometimes behind a child’s stubbornness is a simple need a little time, a little affection, a little understanding, or simply the feeling that “Someone is listening to me.”
Instead of focusing only on changing a child’s behaviour trying to understand the feeling behind it can help build a stronger and more trusting relationship with them.
