By Arvind Maurya a psychologist
Have you ever decided to wake up early, exercise daily, read a book, or stop using your phone so much, only to return to your old routine after a few days? You may have promised yourself many times that tomorrow would be different. But when tomorrow arrives, following the new habit suddenly feels difficult.
Why does this happen? Is building a new habit really that difficult, or is there something else happening in our minds?
The answer lies in the way our brain learns, our daily routines, and the comfort we find in familiar behaviours.
Why Does Our Mind Prefer Old Habits?
Our brain likes to save energy. When we repeat an action regularly, the brain gradually learns to perform it with less conscious effort. This is one reason habits become automatic over time.
For example, imagine someone who checks their phone immediately after waking up. They may not even think about doing it. Their hand automatically reaches for the phone because this behavior has become part of their morning routine.
Now, suppose the same person decides to spend the first 30 minutes of the morning reading a book instead. Initially, this may feel uncomfortable because reading is not yet part of their established routine.
The Problem Is Not Always the Habit
Sometimes, we blame ourselves for failing to build a new habit without understanding what is making it difficult.
- Unrealistic expectations: We expect immediate results. Someone who has never exercised may decide to work out for an hour every day. When the routine feels exhausting, they may stop altogether.
- Depending only on motivation: Motivation changes with our mood, energy, and circumstances. If we exercise only when we feel motivated, we may struggle to continue on difficult days.
- Environmental triggers: Our surroundings often encourage old behaviours. If your phone is beside your bed, checking notifications may happen automatically. If healthy snacks are difficult to access but junk food is always available, changing eating habits may become harder.
- Emotional discomfort: A new habit can bring boredom, frustration, or the fear of failure. Sometimes, we avoid the habit not because the task is difficult but because the feelings associated with it are uncomfortable.
How Can We Make a New Habit Easier?
The good news is that we do not always need stronger willpower. Sometimes, we need a better approach.
Start small. Instead of deciding to read 30 pages every day, begin with two pages. Rather than planning a one-hour workout, start with a 10-minute walk.
Small actions reduce resistance and make it easier to begin. Once the behaviour becomes familiar, you can gradually increase the effort.
Make the desired behaviour easier to perform. Keep your book beside your bed, prepare your walking shoes the night before, or place your phone away from your workspace.
Most importantly, do not treat one missed day as a failure. Suppose you planned to walk every morning but missed Tuesday because of work. You do not need to wait until next Monday to restart. Simply return to your routine the next day.
Understand Your Pattern Instead of Blaming Yourself
Imagine a person who decides to study for 30 minutes every evening after returning from work. However, after a tiring day, they lie down with their phone and spend an hour watching videos.
Instead of repeatedly saying, “I have no self-control,” they can ask themselves a few questions: Am I too tired at this time? Is my phone distracting me? Can I study for 10 minutes before dinner instead?
