Why Teenagers Struggle to Understand Their Feelings but Their Behaviour Says a Lot
By Gunja Maurya (Therapist)
Teenage is a time when many things start changing at once. Their bodies change. Their way of thinking changes, and their emotions can feel much stronger than before. Sometimes teenagers themselves do not understand what is happening inside them. They only know that they do not feel okay or that something is bothering them.
Many teenagers find it difficult to express their feelings in words. Instead, they may become angry or irritated over small things. Some may stop talking to their family or spend more time alone in their room. From the outside, this behaviour may look like an attitude or bad behaviour. But sometimes there is a feeling behind it that the teenager does not know how to express.
For example, a teenager may feel a lot of pressure about studies. They may be scared of failing but may not know how to say it. Instead, they may avoid studying or start arguing with their parents. In the same way, a teenager may feel lonely even when they have friends. They may not talk about it and may simply become quiet or distant.
Teenagers also become more aware of how other people see them. They may worry about their looks. They may wonder if their friends like them or if they fit in. Social media can make this pressure even stronger. Seeing other people online can sometimes make them compare their own life with others. This can affect their confidence and how they see themselves.
This is why it is important to look beyond a teenager’s behaviour. Every angry reaction is not just anger. Every silence is not simply attitude. Sometimes their behaviour is showing a feeling that they are unable to express.
During this stage, teenagers need patience and understanding. Instead of judging them quickly, it can help to talk to them calmly and give them space to share what they are feeling. They need to know that their feelings will be heard and that they will not be judged for expressing them.
Understanding emotions takes time. Teenage years are also a time of learning about oneself. With the right support, teenagers can slowly learn to recognise their feelings and express them more healthily.
