Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Everyone Online?
~ Prabhgun Kaur, Intern
Have you ever opened Instagram for “just five minutes” and somehow ended up feeling like you’re behind in life?
Maybe someone your age just bought a new car. Someone else is traveling to Bali. Another person is celebrating a promotion, showing off perfect skin, a perfect relationship, or the “perfect” body. Suddenly, your own life—which felt completely fine a few minutes ago—starts feeling ordinary.
The strange part is that nothing in your life actually changed. Only what you saw did.
This is the hidden power of social comparison, and in today’s digital world, it affects almost everyone.
Psychologist Leon Festinger introduced the Social Comparison Theory in 1954. According to this theory, people naturally compare themselves with others to understand how well they’re doing. Before social media, these comparisons were usually limited to classmates, neighbors, friends, or colleagues. Today, however, we compare ourselves with thousands of carefully selected highlights from people all over the world.
The problem isn’t comparison itself—it’s who we’re comparing ourselves to.
Most people don’t post their failures, lonely nights, family arguments, financial struggles, or moments of self-doubt. Social media is often a highlight reel, not the full movie. Yet our brain forgets this. Instead, it compares our everyday reality with someone else’s best moments.
This creates what’s known as upward social comparison, where we compare ourselves to people we believe are doing better than us. While this can sometimes inspire us to grow, it often leaves us feeling inadequate, jealous, anxious, or like we’re falling behind.
Have you ever thought, “Everyone seems to have their life figured out except me?”
You’re not alone.
Social media platforms are designed to keep us scrolling. Every swipe introduces another person who seems more successful, more attractive, happier, or more accomplished. Without realizing it, our brain starts believing that this is the standard everyone else is meeting.
This can slowly affect our mental health.
Research has shown that frequent social comparison on social media is associated with lower self-esteem, higher anxiety, depressive symptoms, and greater body dissatisfaction. The more we compare ourselves, the more we begin measuring our worth through likes, followers, achievements, appearance, or possessions instead of our own values and progress.
Comparison doesn’t stop at looks either.
We compare careers… Relationships… Grades… Friendships… Fitness… Even happiness itself.
Sometimes we even compare our healing journey with someone else’s. We wonder why they seem to have moved on while we’re still struggling. But healing isn’t a race, and life doesn’t follow the same timeline for everyone.
Another reason comparison feels so powerful is something psychologists call the spotlight effect. We often assume that everyone notices our flaws while we constantly notice everyone else’s strengths. This creates the illusion that we’re the only ones struggling, when in reality, everyone is fighting battles that rarely make it online.
So, how can we stop comparing ourselves?
The goal isn’t to eliminate comparison completely—because it’s part of being human. Instead, we can become more aware of it.
The next time you notice yourself feeling “less than” after scrolling, pause and ask yourself:
“Am I comparing my entire life to one photo?”
“Do I know the full story behind this post?”
Often, the answer is no.
It also helps to remember that your journey is unique. Someone else’s success doesn’t mean there’s less success available for you. Life isn’t a competition where only one person can win.
Another helpful step is to curate your feed. Follow people who educate, inspire, or make you feel motivated instead of accounts that constantly leave you feeling inadequate. Sometimes protecting your mental health starts with pressing the “Unfollow” button.
Finally, practice comparing yourself with only one person—the version of yourself from yesterday. Growth isn’t about being better than everyone else; it’s about becoming a little better than you were before.
In the end, social media is a tool, not a measure of your worth.
Behind every perfect photo is a real person with insecurities, challenges, and moments they choose not to share. Your life doesn’t need to look like someone else’s highlight reel to be meaningful.
The next time you catch yourself comparing, remember this:
You are seeing their edited moments, but living your real life. And real life, with all its imperfections, is where genuine growth, happiness, and connection truly happen.
