We often compare ourselves with other people, including friends, and this can influence self-esteem. In psychology, the tendency to believe that we are better than the average person on desirable traits is called the better-than-average effect. Self-esteem refers to the value people place on themselves, or how positively they evaluate themselves. High self-esteem is usually linked with greater confidence and a stronger belief in one’s abilities, while low self-esteem is often linked with self-doubt, self-criticism, and a greater focus on weaknesses.
An important idea in this research is trait ambiguity. Some traits are easy to judge and tend to be interpreted similarly by most people, while other traits are vague and can be understood in different ways. Ambiguous traits matter because when a trait is unclear, people can interpret it in a way that makes them look better. Suls, Lemos, and Stewart examined whether people think they are better than average others, whether they think their friends are better than average others, and how these beliefs differ according to self-esteem. Their findings showed that people generally rated themselves as more positive and less negative than the average person, and that high self-esteem individuals used ambiguity more consistently to favor themselves. Low self-esteem individuals, however, were more likely to claim positive traits but less likely to minimize their negative traits. The study also found that, when comparing friends with the average person, almost everyone viewed their friends as better than average, and low self-esteem individuals especially tended to praise their friends, a pattern known as basking in reflected glory. In direct comparisons with friends, people with high self-esteem usually saw themselves as slightly better, while people with low self-esteem often saw themselves as not as good as, or even worse than, their friends. The researchers concluded that comparing oneself with strangers or average others makes it easier to feel superior but comparing oneself with friends weakens the better-than-average effect because it is harder to convince oneself that one is better than someone well known and close.
